From Software games are serious business. Things are dark, often dour, and even dense. The times are tough, resources are tight, and everyone who isn’t dead is either on their way to being dead, or just stark raving mad in the trade off.
Though there is the occasional bit of gallows humor from an NPC, outside of some very silly ragdoll physics, there isn’t much in the way of comic relief in the Soulsborne games. Hence the joke boss.
Every From game for the last decade has included one boss that seems to exist solely for the purpose of making a perverted or childish joke. From Demon’s Souls, all the way up to Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, From has always taken time to squeeze in vagina dentata or a giant foreskin for players to have the occasional chuckle at.
So, in honor of these totally immature and utterly silly creations, we’ve organized each of them here for your perusal.
The Penetrator-Demon’s Souls
Essentially a walking dick joke, The Penetrator is absolutely the silliest boss in Demon’s Souls. With his massive sword (held at mid-body, waist height in the key art) this boss will set out to, well, penetrate you to death. If he’s successful, the last response you’ll have is probably a jolly chuckle, but being one of the toughest enemies in the game, your chances of being penetrated are quite high in Demon’s Souls.
Gaping Dragon-Dark Souls
Vagina dentata, the folk tale or urban legend which describes a woman with teeth in her vagina, has a long history of Freudian symbolism. From emasculation to castration, the ways in which vagina dentata can be examined are endless. From Software, on the other hand, just wanted to make a giant zombie dragon with a toothy vagina. Many players don’t get the joke immediately, as this boss can be very imposing, but when they do… well let’s just say it adds an extra layer of fear to this fight.
Demon of Song-Dark Souls II
Though the Demon of Song in Dark Souls II initially appears to be some kind of frog-like creature, it isn’t until he pulls his *ahem* hood back that players will get the joke. Yes, this is basically foreskin: the boss. The fact that the only way to damage the Demon is when he’s… err, exposed himself, makes the fight even goofier. Unfortunately, the Demon of Song also bears the distinction of probably being the weakest From Soft boss on this list, so if you see him, be sure and stab him in the peehole just for us!
Though Bloodborne is filled with Lovecraftian body horror and transformative terror, it doesn’t have an overtly silly boss like the rest of From Software’s recent output. What it does have is a bunch of little blue dildos chasing you around a garden. While the joke might not be as obvious or funny as the others, the Celestial Emissary themselves are a bit of a joke in that most Soulsborne vets will clean their clock on the first go. Seriously, this fight is one of the easiest in the game.
Curse-Rotted Greatwood-Dark Souls III
The first truly large-scale boss of Dark Souls III shares a weakness that any many can relate to: his nards! Yes, that’s right, you’ll do most of your damage to the Curse-Rotted Greatwood by smashing him in the balls repeatedly. Though this ent from hell can be very intimidating when he first shuffles to life, by the time you’ve finished popping his testicles, you’ll be well and truly satisfied with his demise.
Guardian Ape-Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
While the Guardian Ape doesn’t initially appear to meet the specifications of this list, it isn’t long into the fight before he’s using his bodily functions against you. Try to attack Sekiro‘s Guardian Ape from the rear, and he’ll unleash a toxic fart on you, inflicting the poison status on the player if you’re not careful. Also, if you try to put some distance between yourself and the Guardian Ape, he’ll get really nasty and revert to his monkey roots by digging into his rectum and hurling a giant turd your way. Though you’ll almost certainly die twice to this boss (at least), the extra indignity of being smattered with crap and farted on leaves an indelible mark on the player’s self-respect.